So while African Time goes through all its last minute tweaks and twerks, we thought we’d enlighten you on some timeless “excuses” for being late…

I was held up by protesters

With the on-going protests for everything from land reforms, to proper sanitation, to hating certain political parties (please insert your one here via imagination) to just plain-old corruption. People will protest for ANYTHING with great amounts of reason and with a passion unbreakable by any divine force. If an opportunity appears on your T.V screen or is heard over your radio, please thank it for allowing people to fight for everything. Next step? Stroll in late and be like, “there were protesters keeping me from coming to work.”

I wanted to be fashionably late.

As youthful members of society, we are placed at very high fashion standards. Getting judged for every colour-blocked outfit, crease, stain and fashion repeat, can really break one down. Being fashionable takes time and effort – and a lot of recalling of past outfits. Companies need to have sophisticated looking, trend-setting workers to contribute to the brand-image of their company. Therefore it only makes sense to dub this type of late-coming as being “fashionably late”.

I’ve come in early twice this week.

In this never-ending revolutionising world, there is a lot expected from us youngsters. There is only so much we can do in the 24 hours that we’re given. With inflation, being independent and mid-life-crisis-stricken parents, living life is draining, yo! So it’s cool to compromise your working hours. Them boss-heads need to understand that coming in early can only mean that you can come in late. It’s a new world out here y’all.

It’s a Jewish holiday and I’m one fifth Jewish.

With all these different religions in-fluxing into our continent, it’s no surprise that you have branches verging out into other degrees of these religions that you probably don’t know you are. Being a fifth of something is great because it only means more holidays! No one can question it because that’s against your human rights (its a by-law… deep inside the bill of rights… I’m sure). Please bare in mind that you would then need to research this religion. Also, this would mean a full day off, but it looks good if you come in as like a half day kind of vibe.

It was hailing

So thanks to Cape Town’s four-seasons-in-a-day, blaming the weather is so in right now. This bipolar weather disorder is proving to be a blessing in disguise hey? When it comes to the weather, travelling is out of your control. Bossypants needs to understand that coming late, all dry and happy trumps coming in early, all drenched and soaked and moody as hell. Just remember, it doesnt matter what season it is, it can hail in your neck of the woods 🙂

So thanks to South Africa’s problems, it’s okay to to come in late. What happens is genuinely out of your control and until all of African Time’s “by-laws and sly-laws” are sorted, feel free to use anyone of these Brilliantly conceptualised Late excuses to your disposal.

Your Welcome 🙂