Homecoming Picnic

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December 8, 2014

Before HCP, I had never been to Pretoria. Yes, it took a while but I’ve been steady looking for a concrete reason to party in Pretoria. This time around, I found one! I attended one of Pretoria’s biggest picnic’s called Home Coming, and it was worth the trip. Especially since I was a first-timer in […]

Before HCP, I had never been to Pretoria. Yes, it took a while but I’ve been steady looking for a concrete reason to party in Pretoria. This time around, I found one!

I attended one of Pretoria’s biggest picnic’s called Home Coming, and it was worth the trip. Especially since I was a first-timer in the city of Tshwane. Arriving at the venue – Silver Falcons Rugby Club all the way in Silverton – I was a little irritated because I didn’t know that it was another 20 minutes away from PTA’s CBD.

I eventually got there. Did the VIP entrance things, got tagged up and headed into the venue with my colleague and tour guide for the day. While walking in, I heard people screaming and at first, I wondered what had them making so much noise. My question was answered when I turned to see girls strapped into harnesses attached to trampolines popping back flips, cool huh?

The event’s theme was Candy Land, so everything looked like a Katy Perry music video. The theme was another reason I decided that I need to attend this one. A well thought out theme and my sweet tooth? I was so there. Speaking of sweet, there was candy all over the ground. I ended up literally walking on candy, and watched the attendants having their fair share.

Knowing black people, everyone wanted to look cool while picking up the sweets from the floor. While some looked around before bending over and picking them up like they were doing something wrong, others pretended to dance and fall on the floor so they can stand up with handfuls of sweets.

While I was being amused by this behaviour, we were graced by a performance from a duo called Bad Acoustics. They started out by throwing a bad racial joke on some; “I thought I’d be the only white guy here, but hey, I brought my friend along so I’m not…” The DJ should have cued the crickets right then.

The bad joke was followed by bad lyricism from the lead rapper. Personally, I think he should stick to slapping the guitar. His rhymes just made a good beat sound wack but, these guys are really good at composing. I decided to walk around during their performance, I really couldn’t take anymore.

I was also a bit mind-f**ked by all the buff boys, dudes looked like they were on steroids, but have small voices. A big buff guy with a squeaky voice is a very funny thing to see but I couldn’t laugh. I didn’t want to be crushed by those dudes! Plus, I’m short AF…

While I was still wrapping my head around Pretoria and its buff rugby boys with first-part voices (no pun intended), the oh so colourful stretch tents decided to fall. Okay, that was because of the bad weather, not because they were not set up properly.

What I call the “Ubuntu, we don’t give a f**k” attitude” kicked in when the tents fell. Instead of people complaining and leaving, they took it upon themselves to help set the tents up again.

To me, that shows the relationship that people have with the organisers. HCP is more than a party to them, it’s more like a huge family reunion. No hostility at all. I had always thought PTA people were stuck up and had ego’s because of the ones I know, but I found out that they’re just like us Joburgers because they spend most of their time in JHB… Let that sink in.

As Speedsta hit the stage, I saw girls twerkin’ and boys turning up like white kids drunk on craft beer. It was a nice set, but after the Speedsta buzz, I headed over to VIP and oh lord!

Firstly, I bumped into ex Big Brother contestant Moloko Makhafola looking ravishing in her outfit. I don’t know how else to describe it other than, it was a black outfit. It looked a lot like a sexy, lace onesie but I didn’t want to stare too hard – it’s rude to stare gentlemen.

She wasn’t the only one who blessed us with her beauty though. Bonang Matheba (Queen B*) was around, taking selfies with fans and dancing the day away. As the party got packed, the weather got better and PTA just came out to play. It’s a pity I couldn’t stay long enough for AKA’s performance – but, bet money, he killed it and I lost out on a turn up! Regardless, HCP is the place to be whenever you hit up PTA.