From trying to avoid an impromptu “church” session on the train to giving a brother space to mack on the girl next to him in peace, here are seven reasons why wearing my headphones saves my sanity on public transport.

1. Bible bashers

A train ride from Khayelitsha to the Cape Town CBD is incomplete without a preacher and a few Bible bashers getting up for an impromptu preaching session. If the other passengers are particularly taken with the preaching, someone is bound to start singing. In fact, I have been in a situation where people get so excited they started banging on the windows like they were drums.

2. Noisy school kids

When I was in high school, I used to love the backseat. Now that I’m older, I find the loud kids in the backseat highly annoying.

3. Angry passengers

Trains in Cape Town are always delayed. This is a reality, but many regular passengers complain about this like it’s the first time they see it happen. What’s worse is they often ask you why the train is delayed, even though they know you’re just as clueless.

4. Avoiding guys with a wack mack game

There is nothing more irritating than sitting next to a guy who is trying to mack on a girl. It’s worse if the guy is doing a really bad job of it. You know, like when his mack game is really weak and the girl is really not into it. I often pretend to be listening to music just to give a brother some space and to avoid laughing out loud.

5. Old people ranting

When old people start talking about “disrespectful children who don’t want to give up their seats on public transport”, I just zone out. Sometimes five people would be ranting about the same kid, like doing it as a collective will somehow make the kid to levitate from his seat.

6. People harassing the new drivers

Sometimes, I feel sorry for drivers: they can never do anything right in the eyes of most people. It’s like when people get accustomed to a certain driver and the shortcuts he takes to make the journey quicker. When a new driver comes and sticks to the prescribed route, he’ll get shouted at the entire journey.

7. Being tagged in a boring conversation

If you’ve ever sat next to people discussing an old topic like it’s new, you know my struggle.  Like people talking about #AskMmusi when all of social media has already moved on to discussing #Composure. Imagine how annoying it is being tagged on an old Facebook topic. Having it happen live is much worse.