In silly news this week, popular actor and wrestler Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson attempted to set the world record for the most selfies ever recorded. The Rock took 105 selfies in 3 minutes on the red carpet for the premier of his new movie San Andreas this past weekend. (Clearly he didn’t read my last piece) Silliness offenders like The Rock need to know that they are being watched and will be called out on their silliness. Thus, in an attempt to get silliness offenders to cool it, I gathered the Live SA family and put together what I’d like to call the “Silliness Monitoring Commission”, or SMC for short, and in our first committee meeting we outlined a list of clear offences we’ve identified in the public today:
- Guys that wear sandals out in public during winter and have crusty (and hairy) toes
- Hashtag Activists
- Xenophobes, Misogynists/Sexists, Transphobes, Racists and Homophobes
- People that eat their skaftin in the bus/taxi/train
- People that still watch Idols (because it’s so 2003) and Africa Magic Movies religiously
- People that look at their phones mid-conversation
- People that can’t hold their liquor
- Posting/tweeting about how many bottles you’re having at the club
- Watching movies before reading the book
- Shaving off your eyebrows and drawing them back on incorrectly
- Guys that have man-buns, wear meggings (male leggings) and grow their pinky fingernail (and use it as a toothpick)
- Hating on everything without reason
- Guys that relax their hair
- Guys that chill at the Father coffee bench in Braamfontein without actually buying coffee
- People that still rock gold teeth, s-curls and bright coloured patent Carvellas loafers
- Culture Vultures
- People that hype up the Rossimoda shoes like it’s the greatest thing to happen to fashion
- Guys that carry their girlfriends’ handbags in public (and girls who make their boyfriends carry their handbags in public as a sign to other girls that he’s taken)
Disagree? Turn on your location and sound off on my Twitter @ThapeloMosiuoa so we can meet and fight.
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