We met about a week ago and he still hasn’t called me. I mean why on earth would he take my number if he was not interested in seeing me, or maybe it was the wine that convinced him that he might just like me. Oh well, I guess it’s back to square one, I should have known that guys who hang around bars are no good ! Mmmh maybe I spoke too much about my ex or wait…okay, yea maybe that scared him off I mean why else would he go all silent on me?

It’s a brand new day and I don’t have the time nor the energy to think about this guy! I mean like hello I’m a fine sister I don’t need him! Beep beep..I just received a text and guess what? It’s from him. He wants to hook up with me tonight for drinks. What should I do? Think Nomsa think! I can’t reply instantly; I don’t want him to think I’m desperate and I can’t take too long because he might loose interest. Yes I replied after five minutes. I know, I know it seemed a bit desperado but hey I like the guy.

There’s something about the way he says my name or looks into my eyes like he sees a thousand stars hidden in them. The way he holds my hand when he walks me to the car, the way my loneliness disappears when I’m around him and he actually laughs at my jokes! He compliments me about the simplest of things. I have never been attracted to a gentleman like him and it scares me.  Am I even ready to fall in love with someone who will actually love me and not use me like plastic utensils and leave once they are satisfied?

Don’t get me wrong falling in love is beautiful, until you start removing your mask and somebody notices that you are not that perfect person they once met. You know it all happens to the best of us, we get into a relationship and it’s all lovey dovey. Then after a while it gets boring and stagnant, no more calls or even texts. Seeing each other all the time gets a bit boring.

So yes I like him. But I told him not to ever text me again and that “what we had the other night was great”. I have done this so many times to different people that I have even  lost count. It’s all about the thrill and once he is into me I leave. I don’t want to risk the feeling of giving my heart to someone who doesn’t appreciate their own heart.  As human beings we are constantly searching for  affection from other people. Often that leads us into a spiral of desperation and obsession.

Oh shucks he just replied to my text….

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Photos taken by: @Ric3hard

Read My Funny Valentine – Chapter 1:  http://livemag.co.za/love-affair-2/