Congratulations, you are halfway to 50. Sobering, no? Your bones are probably starting to creak and nights out are starting to feel like a drag more than a good time with other young functioning alcoholics (or for purposes of propriety, “partygoers”). Well, despair not. The Live SA family and I have compiled 25 tips of things you need to know before reaching the tottering old age of 25. Use them, don’t use them, it’s all up to you. The most important thing is to live and have fun.

1. How to reheat a boiled egg… not in a microwave! (I learned the hard way)

2. By 25 you should be able to play the pork bassoon (without teeth, that is) – you’re not Count Dracula and yeah we know it’s delicious… but come on! And yes, this is a metaphor.

3. By 25 you should know that it’s still okay to ask for help especially if you have the privilege of asking for assistance from your parents.

4. Noodles are addictive, and when you’re 25 and living on your own, these become a staple of your diet – breakfast, lunch and dinner!

5. By 25 you should be able to juggle and read a quantum physics at the same time, be able to fry an egg, and have a DMC on Whatsapp simultaneously. Multitasking is everything.

6. Make a decent cup of coffee.

7. If you are still unlucky regarding love, forget it and focus all your energy into making money.

8. How to make a million before age 25 (feel free to text me the answer to this one, #RichKids)

9. Have a steady partner – this, coupled with point 8, makes for a very happy life. Because happiness can be bought, sometimes.

10. By 25, you should still shower on the weekend even if you’re staying in to binge-watch The Walking Dead.

11. Have sex regularly. Safely, of course. With age comes wisdom and wisdom says STDs are not sexy.

12. Watch old movies. You have not lived until you have watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

13. Read. Read anything and everything you can get your hands on. By 25 you should have developed a taste for books like Eat Pray Love, The Hobbit, the A Song of Ice and Fire series and Animal Farm.

14. Travel, even if it’s not the world. A trip from Jozi to Mpumalanga can be just as therapeutic as a cocktail on the beach in the Bahamas.

15. Listen to all sorts of music. Don’t be set in your ways and listen to only one genre. Diversify your playlist and watch as you become cool at Kitchener’s for mentioning a song from the 60s (this happens to me almost every weekend).

16. Make mistakes. It’s okay. Despite my ageist utterances, 25 is still very young. You’re allowed to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them

17. Make time for family and friends. No matter how busy life gets, make time to see your loved ones. Don’t be that “I’m too busy, mom” idiot.

18. Learn a foreign language. And no, French doesn’t count (the writer is having difficulties with French. La terrible difficulties).

19. Learn to get off your phone for at least an hour. Twitter and its twelebs will still be there later.

20. Visit markets and other places where creatives are abundant. Not only is it an amazing experience, but it might lead to the greatest sex of your life. See no. 11.

21. Do not feel pressured to go out every weekend. There’s more to life than queuing outside Great Dane.

22. If you’re a gent, own at least one suit and if you’re a lady, a dress. Forget getting bae’d, people are getting hitched and you don’t want to be that guy who rocks up at your friend’s wedding in jeans and a Superman tee. No.

23. Learn how to cook. Unless you have unlimited funds and a very fast metabolism. You don’t have to be Jamie Oliver but by Jove, at least know how to roast a small chicken.

24. Explore your beliefs. This is the greatest time to do this. So you can decide what works for you and what doesn’t.

25. Live. There is nothing worse than a person who did not enjoy their youth. That’s why we share our bars with the elderly. Live while you’re still young. Seriously.

Feel free to stalk me on Twitter and Instagram: @TsheggyZA + Tsheggie

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